Relationships can be tricky. I should know, I am the personification of commitmentphobia. Nonetheless, I greatly respect and look with a certain envy at my friends’ relationships or marriages. Not too long ago though, a surreal event happened to a colleague of mine.
The most likely dating situation a male foreigner might find himself in Vietnam is with a local girl. The cultural differences can be quite stressful, but at the same time incredibly rewarding. Unless you are going to be with a “bar girl”, Vietnamese women tend to be conservative and are under a huge pressure to find a suitable husband. Premarital sex is usually frowned upon. If a woman accidentally becomes pregnant, the inconvenient situation usually gets covered up by an instantly arranged wedding.
My colleague had been in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl for about one year. Her family approved, but the pressure on his girlfriend to materialize a more serious unit must have been immense. One Wednesday evening while watching television, he was given a pink wedding invitation card. To his great surprise, his name was the groom-to-be. What should have been a laidback evening watching the latest movies on DVD, immediately turned into a nightmare. Three more days of celibacy, the wedding was planned for Saturday. Invitations had been sent to all the Vietnamese relatives, even to the swamps in the Mekong Delta. It would become a huge occasion.
In total shock, he ran. It was the only defense mechanism he could think of, leaving behind a young bride-to-be. No matter how you look at it, she will always receive the short end of the stick. Heartbroken, spoiled property in many Vietnamese eyes, her life will never be the same again. His reaction can be explained for the unusual situation he had found himself in. However, I am amazed at his naivety.
And I’m just counting my “celibate” blessings.
The most likely dating situation a male foreigner might find himself in Vietnam is with a local girl. The cultural differences can be quite stressful, but at the same time incredibly rewarding. Unless you are going to be with a “bar girl”, Vietnamese women tend to be conservative and are under a huge pressure to find a suitable husband. Premarital sex is usually frowned upon. If a woman accidentally becomes pregnant, the inconvenient situation usually gets covered up by an instantly arranged wedding.
My colleague had been in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl for about one year. Her family approved, but the pressure on his girlfriend to materialize a more serious unit must have been immense. One Wednesday evening while watching television, he was given a pink wedding invitation card. To his great surprise, his name was the groom-to-be. What should have been a laidback evening watching the latest movies on DVD, immediately turned into a nightmare. Three more days of celibacy, the wedding was planned for Saturday. Invitations had been sent to all the Vietnamese relatives, even to the swamps in the Mekong Delta. It would become a huge occasion.
In total shock, he ran. It was the only defense mechanism he could think of, leaving behind a young bride-to-be. No matter how you look at it, she will always receive the short end of the stick. Heartbroken, spoiled property in many Vietnamese eyes, her life will never be the same again. His reaction can be explained for the unusual situation he had found himself in. However, I am amazed at his naivety.
And I’m just counting my “celibate” blessings.
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