One week after Powerman, I returned to Malaysia, this time for my good friends Lizi and Hintong’s wedding. I had the honour of being one of the best men. I had been looking forward to the event for quite some time now and I knew how much effort both the bride and groom had put into the organization of their marriage.
The best men needed to help the groom reach his bride by assisting him in some ac
tivities set by the bridesmaids and family members of the bride. As we reached the bride’s home on the back of a 4x4 pickup truck, the gate was closed and we weren’t allowed to enter. We were greeted by one of the bride’s sisters who gave us some garters to wear. One on our head, three on both wrists, and two around each ankle! I was already wondering what I had gotten myself into. The next moment though would scar me for life. We were asked to dance and sing, while holding carrots and cucumbers as microphones, to Dancing Queen sung by Abba. This was rapidly turning into a nightmare, but luckily one of the best men is an aerobics instructor who sort of guided us through this painful ordeal. Finally, we were allowed to enter the gate.
Next step was entering the house. We had to answer some questions about the brid
e and the groom. This went without too many hiccups, and before we knew it we were in the house. We had to do a few more dance routines and come up with a catchy phrase to “seduce” the bride. Unfortunately, Abba music continued dominating in the background and I felt like voluntarily admitting myself to the nearest mental institute. Eventually, we were allowed to go up the stairs where we faced a locked door. The bribing had begun: some ampows for the cousins, some cans of Tiger beer for the sisters and at last we managed to get the groom to his bride.
To seal the marriage, a traditional Chinese tea ceremony was held at both parties’ homes. It meant sharing tea with both the elders of the family and the younger ones. Once completed, the food was ready to be served.
The wedding party was held at the Equatorial hotel. Before the big bash, both the bridesmaids and best men joined a photo shoot with the newlywed couple. After showing off our lovely pink shirts, doing serious and silly poses, carrying bridesmaids up the stairs, being mistaken for being the actual groom, having Nicole David (World #1 squash player) pass by, we had a short break before the guests would arrive.
In the mean time, I had been told that I could stay in the bridal suite, in the room adjacent to Lizi and Hintong’s. The party was fantastic. The food in combination with the red wine was to die for. Plenty of rounds of both were great excuses for me not to enter the dance floor, all to the great frustration of some of the bridesmaids and the bride herself. Sorry ladies, I’m just not that big on dancing, plus I was still getting over my Abba experience. The scars were too fresh.
At the end of the night, some of us decided to go up to the bridal suite for some more partying and drinking. One by one though, most of us started passing out. It had been a long day and for me personally the fatigue in combination with French Chardonnay was taking its toll. I slept on a couch which was incredibly comfortable. Nobody had bothered to turn off the lights and that made a deep sleep quite difficult. After a while, I started hearing some pretty passionate noises next to my couch. Less than five meters from where I was sleeping, two friends of the couple started getting it on. I don’t need to draw any pictures, do I? I was so exhausted and disinterested that I just turned around and continued counting my sheep in dreamland. I must admit I was very tempted in telling them to get a room, but for some reason I was just knocked out, I didn’t have the energy. Finally, the naughty couple moved to the bathroom where she was certainly enjoying her climax and disturbing my sleep.
The next morning, I met up with everyone again and evidently we had a few things to talk about. The newly-wed couple was so exhausted they weren’t able to enjoy their wedding night in a way you might expect. But that’s where the irony starts kicking in! Guess who the naughty gentleman was? The bride’s ex-boyfriend! At least someone had some action.
The best men needed to help the groom reach his bride by assisting him in some ac
tivities set by the bridesmaids and family members of the bride. As we reached the bride’s home on the back of a 4x4 pickup truck, the gate was closed and we weren’t allowed to enter. We were greeted by one of the bride’s sisters who gave us some garters to wear. One on our head, three on both wrists, and two around each ankle! I was already wondering what I had gotten myself into. The next moment though would scar me for life. We were asked to dance and sing, while holding carrots and cucumbers as microphones, to Dancing Queen sung by Abba. This was rapidly turning into a nightmare, but luckily one of the best men is an aerobics instructor who sort of guided us through this painful ordeal. Finally, we were allowed to enter the gate.Next step was entering the house. We had to answer some questions about the brid
e and the groom. This went without too many hiccups, and before we knew it we were in the house. We had to do a few more dance routines and come up with a catchy phrase to “seduce” the bride. Unfortunately, Abba music continued dominating in the background and I felt like voluntarily admitting myself to the nearest mental institute. Eventually, we were allowed to go up the stairs where we faced a locked door. The bribing had begun: some ampows for the cousins, some cans of Tiger beer for the sisters and at last we managed to get the groom to his bride.To seal the marriage, a traditional Chinese tea ceremony was held at both parties’ homes. It meant sharing tea with both the elders of the family and the younger ones. Once completed, the food was ready to be served.
The wedding party was held at the Equatorial hotel. Before the big bash, both the bridesmaids and best men joined a photo shoot with the newlywed couple. After showing off our lovely pink shirts, doing serious and silly poses, carrying bridesmaids up the stairs, being mistaken for being the actual groom, having Nicole David (World #1 squash player) pass by, we had a short break before the guests would arrive.
In the mean time, I had been told that I could stay in the bridal suite, in the room adjacent to Lizi and Hintong’s. The party was fantastic. The food in combination with the red wine was to die for. Plenty of rounds of both were great excuses for me not to enter the dance floor, all to the great frustration of some of the bridesmaids and the bride herself. Sorry ladies, I’m just not that big on dancing, plus I was still getting over my Abba experience. The scars were too fresh.
At the end of the night, some of us decided to go up to the bridal suite for some more partying and drinking. One by one though, most of us started passing out. It had been a long day and for me personally the fatigue in combination with French Chardonnay was taking its toll. I slept on a couch which was incredibly comfortable. Nobody had bothered to turn off the lights and that made a deep sleep quite difficult. After a while, I started hearing some pretty passionate noises next to my couch. Less than five meters from where I was sleeping, two friends of the couple started getting it on. I don’t need to draw any pictures, do I? I was so exhausted and disinterested that I just turned around and continued counting my sheep in dreamland. I must admit I was very tempted in telling them to get a room, but for some reason I was just knocked out, I didn’t have the energy. Finally, the naughty couple moved to the bathroom where she was certainly enjoying her climax and disturbing my sleep.
The next morning, I met up with everyone again and evidently we had a few things to talk about. The newly-wed couple was so exhausted they weren’t able to enjoy their wedding night in a way you might expect. But that’s where the irony starts kicking in! Guess who the naughty gentleman was? The bride’s ex-boyfriend! At least someone had some action.
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1 comment:
Hey dude, we want pictures of the you and your garters plus you room mates getting it on if possible.
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